Am I the only one who thinks finding a genuinely good relationship in Abuja is like looking for the teeth of a cockroach?
Because at this point, I am tired.
You meet somebody. The conversation is flowing. He is calling you “my woman” by Day 4. He has already told you how different you are from every other woman he has met.
You’re blushing.
You’re smiling at your phone like MTN just gave you free data.
Then suddenly… silence.
No call. No text. No explanation.
Sir, did you enter a cave?
Welcome to the Chronicles of a Single Lady in Abuja.
Being single in Abuja is not for the weak. You have to work, make money, look good, maintain your mental stability, dodge Lagos-vs-Abuja comparisons, survive traffic, attend weddings where everybody is asking “When are you bringing your own?” and still pretend you are perfectly okay.
Meanwhile, your married friend is sending you pictures of her husband buying her flowers.
Another one is posting “My baby surprised me!”
And you are there, eating suya alone and wondering if your own man is still doing NYSC somewhere.
Then I stumbled across Uju (@theujushalom) on TikTok. After watching her video, I immediately ran to ChatGpt to help me put a crown on her head, bikonu!
I was just scrolling, minding my business, when I saw her ask ladies in Abuja who had never received flowers to DM her if they wanted some.
Excuse me?
Flowers? For single women?
I stopped scrolling immediately.
Because why have we allowed flowers to become a relationship benefit package?
Must there be a man attached before a woman can receive flowers?
And honestly, this is why I think Uju is a proper girl's girl. Ladies, we should vote her President.
She basically said, “You know what? Let me make another woman feel special.”
No boyfriend required. No talking stage. No “What are we?” No application form. No CV. Just flowers.
And God knows Abuja single ladies need that kind of energy. So let's just gather here and give her her flowers.
Because dating here can sometimes feel like unpaid internship.
The sweet-sweet talks will be plenty.
“You deserve the world.”
Okay. Please start with dinner.
“I really like you.”
Wonderful. What exactly are your intentions?
“Let's just go with the flow.”
Which flow? River Niger?
At this point, some of us don't even need another motivational speech about being patient. We need clarity, consistency and maybe a bouquet.
Because beneath the “I'm enjoying my single life” captions are women building careers, paying bills, helping family, chasing dreams and occasionally whispering, “God, abeg. Is my husband on this earth?”
So yes, I still want love.
I want something genuine. Intentional. Peaceful. Someone whose actions don't require a forensic investigation.
But until then?
Bring me my flowers.
I don't need a boyfriend to deserve them.
And honestly, if Uju wants to continue this girl's-girl ministry, Abuja single ladies are available for consultation.
Because apparently, finding a man is difficult.
But finding a woman willing to remind other women that they are worth celebrating?
Now THAT is a miracle.
At this point, I guess we're all flower girls.